Strength Coach & Personal Trainer

Living in the moment

I personally find it hard to sometimes to just live in the moment and let go. Not because I am unhappy or anxious about something nor am I shy but because this is who I am. Some people are wonderful at just letting go and embracing what will be will be. I have friends that I admire so much as they live their lives like an unwritten book. Each page is yet to be written, their story is not yet decided, the middle may be the juiciest part but who knows what that might entail?!

I believe all too often we want to be something or even someone we are not. We all have the ability to change our physiques, the way we dress, the colour of our hair, our jobs, maybe even the way we approach tasks. But I also believe we will revert back to what we naturally do and how we behave. It is this that got me thinking...the way we naturally are.

When reality TV first came on our television screens it was shocking to me how fascinating I found it. Watching people behave but not necessarily in a natural environment (set up/staged). For example the first series of Big Brother back in 2000 had me hooked. People watching was nothing new but this time you got to hear their conversations, fully explore their personalities and watch their behaviour for 24 hours and not just a 10 second snippet like you would in the street. For the first time we were able to see who emerged as natural leaders, who were the extroverts, who were the introverts, who loved being centre of attention, who was shy and who was happy to just be there. Obviously there are more types of character and personality than this but maybe this is something for you to think about.

If I were to sit down now and list my closest friends, would I be able to assign one of the characters above to each one? Could i assign myself one? Yea I think I could and I also don't think it would be s very difficult task. I saw a nice quote written on a chalkboard this weekend and it made me think about all this;

"Our closest friends become our chosen family"

I am lucky enough to have some wonderful friends, some I have been friends with since I was born, some since I started school at 5, others I made at uni at 23 and some I have only known for the last couple of years. Of course we all have friends that we are closer to, ones we see more regularly, ones we confide in more, ones we could call out of the blue and they would drop everything to be there and others we just see when someone else organises a get together. None are less important to me but they fit into my life differently and that's what makes great friendships and my chosen family.

I have got a little side tracked from my original thought but actually it is all related. We all have personality traits and move through life differently and although there are some things we can change, we can not change who we are. Irving Goffman wrote a research paper in 1959 where he addressed the idea of impression management.  He observed actors on stage and noted the way in which they take on roles and have to make the audience believe they are that person.  Not just for one performance but 6 or 7 shows a week and a different audience each show.  He pointed out that everyone puts on a show as we are always performing to a different audience.  The way we are around different people will be the performance we put on for that period of time, it is not being fake but it is making a conscious effort to make an impression.

When all is said and done the person who are and who we grow up to be is a choice and we can only change so much about ourselves, but just remember to enjoy whatever comes your way and live in the moment as best you can.